


Desire

by BloodEnvy



Series: Kinds of Love [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dom Tony Stark, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post Civil War, Smut, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, You're an Avenger, a little bit, he's definitely in control here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 10:35:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15362667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodEnvy/pseuds/BloodEnvy
Summary: You moved into the Avengers facility shortly after the events of "Civil War". Tony is, for the most part, the same old Tony, but you can't stop seeing the haunted look in his eyes. Your friendship grows as the two of you spend more time together, until one night he finally admits to you what happened in Siberia, and everything between you changes when both of you reach an emotional breaking point.





	Desire

“Tony?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Is there a reason you’re in my lap?”

It had been a bit more than a month since you’d packed up the cramped little dorm room at N.Y.U. you’d been calling home for the last three years and had moved into a considerably more spacious bedroom at the Avengers facility outside of the city. You were still trying to accustom yourself to having a room all your own, let alone one of its size, not to mention the private en suite and walk-in wardrobe. You still found it strange to walk into the latter and see your battle suit hanging up in plain sight, ready and waiting just in case. But in all the time you’d spent in the facility, you hadn’t had to wear it. And you hadn’t actually seen very much at all of Tony Stark.

Sometimes, you attended the same sessions of Rhodey’s physical therapy – but you usually took a back seat in conversation then, as Tony tweaked the harness he’d designed to better work with Rhodes – and occasionally you’d cross each other in the hall late at night on your way to the fridge. Otherwise, though, it often felt like you weren’t even living in the same building.

The only real hint you got that he was always around was given to you when you cooked. You made dinner almost every night, cooking enough to feed everyone else as well. Rhodey and Happy would often join you for dinner, and even Vision would occasionally keep you company (even though you were yet to see him actually eat anything), but Tony never did. Still, every night you filled the Tupperware you’d labelled with his name and set it in the fridge, and it was always empty and in the sink by lunch time the next day. Even if all you’d made was pasta and sauce from a jar or scrambled eggs.

You weren’t actively trying to take care of Tony; you knew it would only insult him if you tried. But he _was_ letting you have free run of a high-tech, million-dollar facility that came complete with an entertainment center, indoor pool and a state-of-the-art gym, and you didn’t even have to pay rent. The least you could do was leave him leftover sausages and mashed potatoes.

So, after weeks of little communication with a man who seemed like a shell of his former self, it was surprising to say the least when he’d come strolling in while you were watching a movie and flopped onto the couch beside you with a sigh, his head falling to rest in your lap. His eyes had gone straight to the screen in front of you, and he hadn’t looked up at you yet.

“So, what are we watching?”

You smirked at the collective; you hadn’t planned on having company, but you weren’t going to complain now that you did. You liked Tony a lot; he was witty, clever and easy to talk to even if you hadn’t spent much time with him in the past, aside from missions. You’d mentioned one night to Vision that you were worried that you were imposing and that was why he wasn’t around, but he’d assured you that Tony was happy you were there. He’d even suggested that your shared stance on the Accords and your standing alongside him against your friends had endeared you to him considerably.

 “You should know, it’s your movie collection,” you pointed out, letting your question drop. You weren’t going to get a straight answer as to why you were being used as a cushion, and you didn’t really have an issue with it. He was warm and comfortable, and his easy demeanor relaxed you. The others were friendly enough, but Happy and Rhodey both tended to treat you like a kid, even if they didn’t mean to. “How’s the lab work going?”

“It’s boring.” He shrugged, his shoulders bumping gently against your thigh. “How’s the study?”

“I’m all studied out, to be honest.”

“Excellent.”

“How is that excellent, exactly?”

He smiled, eyes still on the television. “Means you’re not going anywhere anytime soon.”

You snickered, shaking your head. “And how do you know I don’t just want to be alone right now?”

He finally tore his gaze away from the screen, meeting your eyes with his chocolate-brown ones, his lips curved in one of his patented, self-satisfied smirks. “Because about two minutes ago you started playing with my hair.”

Your eyes flickered to your hand in surprise; your fingers were curled in his dark locks and you had absolutely no idea why you’d started doing it. You withdrew your hand quickly.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Y/N,” he teased, poking you in the belly with his finger. “You’re not alone. The Iron Man fan site lists my hair as my fourth most attractive feature.”

“Only you would spend time on your own fan site,” you snarked. “What are the other three?”

“Smile. Ass. Goatee.” He counted them out on his fingers proudly, and you scoffed. He raised an eyebrow at you. “You’re telling me you’ve never wanted to see what everyone thinks of the mighty Barricade?”

“I’m a girl who had, upon occasion, walked down the street in downtown New York. I hear that a lot.” You replied drily. “And don’t get all excited, Tone. I wasn’t even thinking about your hair.”

“Then what were you thinking about? The other three?”

Snickering, you poked his temple lightly. “Nah. Maybe I just wish I had a cat.”

He chuckled. “Sweetheart, you put your hand back in my hair and I’ll buy you a hundred of them.”

You scoffed at that, but you relented as you looked down at him. After weeks of seeing Tony tired and withdrawn, it was nice to see him looking so relaxed and to have a part in that. You slid your fingers back through his hair, ruffling it as your fingertips grazed gently against his scalp. It was surprisingly soft against your skin – no doubt thanks to whatever overly expensive products he used – and you took up a soothing rhythm as you returned your attention to the movie.

Your free hand dithered for a moment, unsure of where to rest, and he rolled his eyes and grabbed it, pulling it down to rest on his chest. You could feel the faint line of the scar left behind by the arc reactor under his t-shirt. He sighed contentedly, settling back into your lap more comfortably. You shook your head in amusement. “You are so weird, Tone.”

“Shhh,” he hushed you teasingly. “I’m watching a movie.”

“Your eyes are closed.”

“Which makes it so much harder to understand what’s happening when I can’t hear it.” He broke out in a grin as you laughed. You fell into comfortable silence for a while, fingers still massaging idly away at his scalp.

“Tony?”

“Mmm?”

“Thank you for letting me stay here.”

He shrugged again. “Not a problem. Room was set up for you when this place was built.”

“I know, FRIDAY told me,” you replied. You’d been uncomfortable with the idea of moving into one of the other member’s rooms, but the AI had assured you that yours was designed specifically for you, and that the others’ rooms were all closed off by Tony once he’d gotten back from Siberia. “I meant… just… thanks.”

His lip curled in the hint of another smile. “It’s fine. I’ve been enjoying the foray into student food.”

You smacked his chest lightly, and he laughed.

“…Tony?”

“Yes, Y/N?”

You hesitated, biting your lip. “What happened in Siberia?”

Tony stiffened against you, and exhaled. He sat up, rubbing the back of his neck. “I should get back to work.”

“Tone, I—”

“I’ll see you later, Y/N.”

He walked out without looking at you, leaving a hollow feeling in your chest.

***

You smirked to yourself as you glanced up from your work, not turning around from the desk. “Can I help you with something, Tony?”

“How’d you know I was here?”

Your smile widened as you returned your eyes to your textbook. “I can see your reflection in the computer screen.”

“Very sneaky, kid. Romanoff would be proud.”

‘Later’ had turned out to be while you were preparing dinner two days after your conversation on the couch. Tony had come wandering in and offered a wine pairing for the curry you were cooking. To your surprise, he’d joined you and Rhodey that night, and almost every night since, even when Rhodey and Happy had other plans. On those nights, the two of you would find some terrible movie or painful reality show to make fun of, and would sit there long after your plates were empty. He even helped you with clean-up, and you had to admit, there was something endearing about seeing billionaire Tony Stark with soapy hands or packing a dishwasher.

He tilted his head to the side. “You know, I always thought ‘studying’ was a euphemism. No one actually studies this much.”

“Not all of us are in the genius class,” you replied. You spun your chair around, eyebrow raised in amusement. “What did you think I was doing?”

“Is it wrong to say it was something blush-worthy?” he grinned teasingly, wetting his lips with his tongue.

“Why, Tony Stark, I do declare!” you said, affecting a Southern accent and fanning yourself with your hand. You were used to seeing Tony flirt, even occasionally with you, and you knew not to take him seriously. He chuckled, sauntering across the carpet to your side. You turned back to the desk and he leaned over your shoulder, one hand braced on the armrest, the other resting on the back of the chair.

“What are you doing?”

“You know what I’m doing,” you aid, returning dutifully to your book. “Although I’m kind of scared to ask what you’ve been imagining it is.”

“You should try living a little dangerously, then, Y/N.” he replied softly, and you felt his warm breath fan against your neck.

“We’re Avengers, Tone. We already do.” You watched the reflection of his jaw tense for a moment, and you sighed. “Or we did, at least.”

Tony pulled the book out of your hands and tossed it on the floor behind him.

“Hey!”

He caught the chair by the armrests as you turned, caging you in and leaning over you. You were a little taken aback by how close his face was to yours, so you gave up and leaned back in the chair again. “You need a break.”

You sighed, “Tony, if you’re hungry, just say so. But I was just—”

“I am capable of feeding myself, you know.” He told you, smirk on his lips and shining in his eyes. “And you’re not cooking tonight.”

“I’m not?”

“Like I said, you need a break.”

“That’s what the girls at the dorms used to say when they were trying to convince me to come out and either get blind drunk or laid,” you said drily.

Mischief sparkled in the look he gave you. “Did it work?”

“For the first part? Sure, I’m not an animal.” You replied nonchalantly, and he laughed. Your tone turned a little coy as you continued. Always best to keep Stark on his toes. “Getting laid? I didn’t really need their help.”

He snorted at that, and you stuck your tongue out at him petulantly.

“So, what am I doing tonight, then, Astro Boy?”

“’Astro Boy’?”

You shrugged, folding your arms across your chest. “Metal, rocket boots, hero-type. Seemed like a fair comparison.”

“Huh. Fair enough.”

“You gonna answer my question?”

“Nope. Now, get your ass up, Y/N. Dinner will be here in ten minutes.”

***

“So, it turns out you’re actually a sorority girl, after all,” you mocked, holding up your half-gone drink in a toast. Tony tapped his glass against yours, and you both tossed them back easily. His idea of a break had turned out to be another night on the couch, this time with a sinful amount of food and a pitcher of apple martinis waiting for you. You were already halfway through it, a happy buzz settling in your brain. Instead of the usual bad T.V. he had music playing when you’d walked into the entertainment center; the low sounds of classic rock providing the soundtrack for your evening.

“Oh, _please_ tell me you were in a sorority,” he shot back, leaning forward to refill both your glasses. You were sitting side by side on the couch, shoulders barely brushing. His legs were loosely crossed, his knee resting on yours. Your fingers brushed against his as you accepted your glass from him again. “The idea of you wearing a cute little sorority sweater over your mission outfit is just too good.”

“God, no.” you scoffed, stealing the last bite of his potato gratin with your fork. His mouth dropped open in mock-offence, and you grinned at him as you popped it into your mouth. “You really didn’t have to order so much, Tony.”

He shrugged. “Wasn’t sure what you felt like. Besides, the chef at Le Cirque is a friend of mine.”

“Le Cirque? Now I feel way underdressed,” you joked, gesturing at your jean shorts and your oversized sweater. “Seriously, Tony, that place is so expensive. I would have been happy with P.F. Chang’s.”

“You take another bite of that lobster risotto and tell me that.”

“I can’t.” you admitted, pursing your lips to hide your smile. “I finished it already.”

“Dessert, then?” he offered enticingly, finishing his drink. You followed suit. “There’s crème brulee in the fridge.”

“Mr. Stark, you spoil me,” you replied, grabbing his knee to stop him from rising. “Uh-uh. You stay. I’ll get it.”

Standing quickly before he could object, you swayed slightly when the alcohol rushed to your head. You felt Tony’s hands on your waist, steadying you, and amusement colored his voice when he spoke. “Easy there, sweetheart. I got you.”

Your hands covered his for a moment as you regained your balance, and you felt them ghost briefly down your thighs as he released you, letting you step away. Goosebumps erupted along your bare skin in their wake.

“Want me to make another pitcher?” he called out as you dug spoons out of the drawer, pouring the last of the cocktail into your glasses.

“Nah,” you replied, handing him his dessert and sitting back down. You slung your legs across his lap, back resting against the armrest, and smiled back at him when he looked at you with a mix of amusement and surprise. You held up a bottle of scotch you’d snagged from the bar. “Got you covered.”

***

You hummed happily, throwing back another mouthful of scotch. It was incredibly smooth, barely burning as it hit your tongue. Between the two of you, you were halfway through the bottle, dessert long finished. You tilted your head to the side. “I like this song.”

“Yeah?” Your legs were still thrown over his lap, and his hand slid up your calf at a glacial pace, his eyes following it as if he was committing your skin to memory. You weren’t entirely sure when he’d started doing it, but it felt nice, the warmth and surprising softness of his palm soothing you.

“Yeah,” you said, giving him a lazy smile. His hand reached your knee, and it slowly made its way back down again. “You like it too, right? You play it a lot. I hear it from my room.”

“You’re one of the few people who haven’t complained about that,” he said wryly, eyes still on his hand.

“I like being able to hear your music,” you admitted with a shrug. “Let’s me know you’re around.”

Tony smiled at you, accepting the bottle when you tilted it towards him. His eyes didn’t leave yours as he took a sip, and you felt a shiver settle in the small of your back.

“I like having you around, too.” He passed it back, his fingertips grazing over your knee to the bottom of your thigh and back down again. “Makes this place a little more lively.”

“Do you miss the others?” you asked before you could think it through, and you bit your lip. He exhaled shakily, bowing his head. You leaned forwards, hands on your knees. His fingertips brushed against yours the next time he reached the top of your calf. “Tony, it’s okay to miss them. I do.”

“It’s not that easy…”

You frowned, hesitating. His hand froze on your leg, and your scooted closer to his side, your knees bending. “Tony? What happened in Siberia?” He groaned, his other hand running through his hair. When he didn’t speak, you tried again, your voice almost a whisper. “Tony, please?”

“He killed them.” He said, his voice thick. He was staring at some invisible point on the wall, and the hollow look you kept catching when you’d pas him in the hall late at night was in his eyes again. “Buc—” he shook his head. “The Winter Soldier killed my parents.”

“Oh my God…” you murmured, stricken. “Did… did Steve…”

“Rogers knew.” His voice hardened to almost a growl. “Rogers knew the whole goddamn time.”

“Tony—”

“He fucking knew it, Y/N.” Tony turned to you, and there was a kind of heartbroken desperation in his eyes. Tears burned in them, and you felt them begin to well up in your own. “My dad loved him, thought he was a hero. And all this time Rogers fucking _knew_ what he did. He slept in my house and worked on my team and he let me call him a _friend_ and this whole time he knew what happened… he knew what that piece of shit did to them.”

“Tony, I’m so sorry,” you could feel the tears building in your throat. Your hand closed around his, and he squeezed it back so tightly it hurt. “I’m so, so, sorry…”

“I don’t know who I can trust anymore, Y/N.” he whispered, and those words broke your heart.

You cupped his cheek with your free hand, turning him to face you again. The hand not clasped around yours squeezed your calf, as if he was trying to anchor you to him. His gaze met yours, and you brushed your thumb against his cheek, wiping away an escaped tear. “You can trust me, Tony. I promise. You can trust me.”

His gaze bore into yours for what felt like forever, burning into you to the point where you almost felt like you had to turn away. But you didn’t, staring back at him with fierce earnest in your eyes, your hand gripping his own. The hand on your leg moved again, and you could feel it shaking slightly as it rose up your leg and to your hip; your sweater rose with it, and your breath caught slightly as his fingertips brushed against the bare skin of your waist.

“Y/N…” he murmured, and there was something anxious in his voice, different from before. Something that made you bite your lip and slide the hand on his cheek around to rest on his neck, your thumb brushing against his ear.

“You can trust me, Tony.”

The hand on your waist pulled you towards him, and he closed what little distance between you was left, his lips meeting yours in a fierce kiss. You gasped against his mouth, surprised, but found yourself gripping at the hair at the nape of his neck and answering in kind. His hand tightened on your waist; the other one releasing your hand to glide up your arm and tangle in your hair, his grip on it flirting with the edge of painful. Your hands moved to his chest, twisting in the fabric of his t-shirt, tugging him closer.

His lips were soft despite the aggression in his kiss, his teeth grazing against your bottom lip. You felt his tongue swipe against it, and you parted your lips, meeting it with your own with a whimper. His forehead rested against yours when he broke away to catch his breath, his hand still in your hair, and you slid your arms from his chest to wrap around his neck, suddenly desperate for his touch.

You hadn’t imagined your night to go this way – you hadn’t even fully admitted your attraction to Tony to yourself, but now you felt like you could drown in it.

You encouraged him to kiss you again, and you felt his hand brush against the side of your throat and down your side, whispering past the curve of your breast and down your ribs to rest on your hip, mirroring his other one. Your surprised squeal was muffled by his mouth as he lifted you and stood unexpectedly easily, gripping the bare flesh of your thighs and guiding your legs around his waist.

You felt your back meet the wall of the hallway as he carried you god knows where, and you gasped again once you felt his lips press roughly just below the angle of your jaw. Your fingers tensed on his shoulders, and you braced yourself against them to press yourself against his crotch. He groaned at the sensation, his teeth scraping against your throat, and then his lips found yours again, somehow more eager than before.

Your hand ran through his hair, disheveling it, and you giggled against his lips as he kicked open the door to his room, crossed the floor and dropped you on the bed. You felt your belly tighten as he stood over you, his eyes dark, his expression almost possessive. There was no smart-ass smirk or self-satisfied quip, just an aura of desperate need that rolled over you like a wave and made your thighs clench. You pushed yourself up the bed until you reached the pillows, legs parting slightly in invitation.

Tony pulled off his shirt and tossed it aside, and unfastened his jeans, and you wet your lips as he crawled up the bed towards you. He paused long enough to push your sweater up slightly and press a kiss to your hip in a surprisingly affectionate moment before his lips were on yours again and he was running a hand over your thigh.

You broke away long enough to remove your sweater, desperate to feel his skin against your own, and you were immediately rewarded when his hand moved from your thigh to grip your waist, pinning you to the mattress. His lips moved over your neck in a teasing combination of teeth and tongue to your collarbone and then to your breast, sucking at the skin at the edge of your bra. He answered your moan with one of his own, and you struggled to unclip it. His mouth found your nipple as soon as the lace was pushed away, teeth grazing against the hardening point. Everything was rough and almost careless, and you reveled in the feeling of Tony’s hold on you.

He repeated the actions on your other breast until you were breathless, and he kissed your sternum before sitting back and tugging your shorts and underwear down your legs. You kicked them off, squeaking as Tony’s hands pushed your thighs roughly apart. His body covered yours again as you felt his hand ghost over your folds, and you pushed awkwardly at the waistband of his jeans, urging them down his thighs. He pushed them off, fingers teasing over your clit for a moment before you felt him push his cock into you, all the way to the hilt.

You gasped at the sensation, clinging to his shoulders, and he gave you both a moment to adjust, his forehead resting on your shoulder, and his breathing heavy. You wrapped your legs around him and urged him closer, and his lips found yours again as his hips took up an almost punishing pace. The room filled with the sounds of your hips meeting, your breathy moans and his muttered curses; your name fell from his lips and you moved your hips to meet his, encouraging him to say it again.

“Oh, fuck… Tony…” you moaned as your head fell back, and his lips found your neck again. He felt so good, that coil in your belly ever-tightening as he filled you. One of his hands gripped at your breast, and your nails scored against his shoulders, making him hiss. “ _Fuck…_ ”

“That’s right, sweetheart,” he murmured, his voice low and husky. He angled his hips until you keened, brushing against that sweet spot inside you with every thrust. You leaned up to kiss his neck, scoring his throat with open-mouthed kisses. You felt him shiver against you as you ran your tongue over the shell of his ear, and you caught his earlobe between your teeth, drunk on the sound of his moan. “I got you…”

His fingers ghosted over your belly down to rub circles over your clit, and you felt yourself tighten around him. Your hand clamped over his, holding it in place and he increased the pressure obediently; your eyes rolled back, your thighs shaking. “Oh, God, Tony, I’m gonna—”

“Come for me, sweetheart,” he whispered against your ear, his teeth teasing the shell of it. “Fucking come for me.”

The coil broke in you and you came with an almost pornographic moan of his name, drawing his lips back to yours for a kiss. He followed you soon after as you clenched around him, groaning against your lips as he spilled himself inside you. You slowly unwrapped your legs from his waist and he fell against you, his face pressed into the crook of your neck, his hands on your hips.  He touched a gentle kiss to the side of your throat before rolling off you, and you clenched your thighs at the empty feeling between them.

You looked over at him as you felt his hand take yours, and he intertwined your fingers, bringing them up to press his lips to the back of your hand. “Come here.”

He tugged you over to him, and you curled into his side, letting his arm settle around you to rest his hand on your hip. You slid a leg over his, your hand alighting on his chest. He covered it with his own.

“…Guess you really _are_ just like the girls I go to school with,” you said, and smiled as he rewarded you with a quiet laugh. You ran your fingers over the scar left behind by the arc reactor carefully.

“You’ll stay, won’t you?” his voice was a whisper, an echo of his confession earlier. _I don’t know who I can trust anymore._

“I’ll stay as long as you want me, Tone,” you replied, tugging the blankets up over the both of you. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He gave a soft sigh of contentment, tangling his fingers with yours on his chest. You closed your eyes and listened to his heart, feeling his lips press softly against your hair.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments! This is my first time writing smut for Tony/Marvel (or anyone who isn't Buffy and Spike) and would love to hear your thoughts! Thank you so much for reading!


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